Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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Two chinese friends are chatting, and one says ????????? His friend says ??????? After that, the first one says ???????????, and you keep reading this like if you understood chinese.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

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Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

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Two black guys run into a bank with guns. They place them in their pre-payed safety deposit boxes and continue on their way as they were falling behind on their schedule.

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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