whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Whats two plus two Four!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Atheism

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q: Do you know how to save a black man from drowning? A: No. GOOD!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Just because you do not see the joke, it does`t mean its not here... Ps: It helps us get hookers and beers while wasting your "valuable time" OMG PLEASE BE FUCKING UNDERSTANDING OHMYLAWD!!!!!!!!! Ps: Cry harder you greedy sons of shedogs

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

thumb_up thumb_down -58

have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops