How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

Donald Trump

Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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