Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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Why was the black family eating at K.F.C? The food there is really good and they had a discount on the family bucket.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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One day, a guy wanted to know if all blondes really were dumb. He gathered a stadium full of blondes, picked one out of the blondes and said,"I will ask you a few questions. First, what is 23+12?" The blonde replied,"Uh, 30." The other blondes said,"Give her another chance!" "Alright. Next question. What is 30+30?" Said the inquirer. The blonde answered, "Oh! 300!" "Give her another chance!" The blonde crowd shouted. "Alright but this is the last question. What is 1+1?" The blonde answered, "2." The blonde crowd roared, "Give her another chance!"

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What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

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Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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