A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

a man walks into a bar. he gets a beer and talks to his friends. he then goes home.

A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

Arab 1: Du good bai me, and I'll du good bai you. Arab 2: Ye men, sounds good men. Arab 3: O man, no way. Arab 4: K, u wait...jus wait n see.. Arab 5: I no interest! Me so saudi! Arab 6: D'oh...ha, ha, haa! Arab 7: This is so bahrain...I'm going to go club some protesters.

Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

24

Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

well use a tissue!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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