Why did the Jewish business man cross the road? A: to go to his reasonable paying job at a business.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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I have an idea! You leave.

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

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Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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what do you get when a white man and a black woman have a baby? A baby

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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