- Anti Joke

What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

Yo Momma So Fat!

What do you call a black man? Rob