what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It depends on the person. To generalize and select one sport to represent the entire race would be stereotyping.

Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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