An ant walks into a bar. Nobody Notices...

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

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When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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