Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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One, two, three, four and five

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Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

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- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

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A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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