Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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* How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? * He just need to go to the Register Office and change his name to "a man"

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it was tree

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

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Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

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Yo' mamma's so poor she's homeless and dying of starvation.

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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What's worse than losing the remote? Dying of cancer.

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person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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