How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You should get a new joke book............ because the newest edition has just be released

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the jews get off the bus? Because i threw a fridge at it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

It's April Fools Day... APRIL FOOLS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the skinny man say to the fat woman. That sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

i want to watch t.v, how do u turn it on? idk, do u know how? idk either, i cant see or hear then y do u want to watch t.v wuts a tv?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Jamie Stegman was dead. LOL

thumb_up thumb_down -13

This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops