Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

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What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

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In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

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How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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There's a cat, a dog, a rat and a goat... I don't know how the goat got in there?

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops