Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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Dwarf Shortage

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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Why did Wiggy fall into the toilet? Wiggy was the name of his turd.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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what's the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your nuts with a jew.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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Everyone is equal. It doesn't matter if you're black, red, yellow, brown, or normal.

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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What's brown and smells like shit? Brown colour. I'm synesthetic.

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple? The Color Wheel.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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