Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car, who's driving? Their father Micheal, he adopted both of them from a mentally handicapped orphanage when they were five.

Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

why did benny go to the 4th grade school nurse? he had a massive erection.

Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

How do you make a pool table laugh? You cant it is'nt a living thing which means emotions.

A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

David Cameron

Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...