Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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If the 49ers won the superbowl

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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What did Tiger Woods do when he saw a woman taking her shirt off? He looked the other way so he could make his birdie putt

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Why did the black man get drenched by a fire hose because he was on fire

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled I've cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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Yo mama is so hairy! Then only language she speaks is Chinese

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

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why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

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Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

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So, I walk into a bar and say "Why do you call this place a bar, I don't see any bars in here!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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The Labour Party.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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