How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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Why do people go on this site? They have no friends and no lives.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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Your momma's so fat that she contracted type 2 diabetes and died at a young age because obesity is a huge problem in America.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Its true, he didnt write that!!

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

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what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

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You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Getting your balls chopped off by a maniac on LSD.

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what do trees like to drink? r o o t b e a r

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Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

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http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/355988-gay_marriage.jpg

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Tests.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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