When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

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Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Well many scientists have theorized that a giant meteor hit the earth causing the extinction of most living things. Also if your christian : Dinosaurs never existed, evolution is the devils work, science is not the answer to the world's problems. Darwin was a foolish man, and thats that.

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A black person walked up to another black person, and tells him a pun the other black person laughs and walks away

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

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Why did the homeless man steal food from the local grocery store? He had not eaten in three days and was forced to steal or risk possible starvation.

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How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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why was the little boy sad? he found out that George Washington was dead.

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Why did the garbage man cross the road? He was doing his job.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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eh

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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Jamie Oliver eats a chip

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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want to hear a cat joke? i'm just kitten....

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Pacient: Doctor Doctor i think im becoming a vegetable... because of my heriditory bone marrow mutation

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Q: Whats the difference between nude pics and your mom? A: I can wackk off to nude pics

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops