what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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This is an anti-joke.

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how many girlfriends does robert dupra have? none becomes his sister doesn't count trololololol

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

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A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

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A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He believed pedestrians had the right

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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