What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

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your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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Why did hitler cause the holocaust? YOLO

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

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Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

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Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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