What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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a man checks his mypsace

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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roses are black violets are black i am blind

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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