Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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knock knock who's there a tiger Alex proceeds to walk away as there is a tiger at his front door. he then calls the police because of the potential danger. the animal control then apprehends the animal and takes it to an enclosure

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Wihat's red, green, and goes 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!!!!!

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

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How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

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Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she was a very poor worker.

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wouldnt it be ironic if chuck norris was shooting blanks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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