What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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