How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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Amanda Knox walks home free.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops