Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...