What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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Whats worse than suicide? death

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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I'm going to rewrite history. History.

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A black man walks out of a store. He was carrying a receipt.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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Weaner

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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