What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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Ha! You're so gay that I respect the sexuality you were born with and I feel completely comfortable with, and happy for, you and your preferences.

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Joesph Triphook.

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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Roses are red Violets are blue if you think this is funny then your a jew!

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An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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