Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the cat say to the potato? meow

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops