Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Justin Bieber

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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Q. what is the most amazing animal in the world? A. MULLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

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Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

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Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

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Q. Why did Steve Carell, the 40 year old virgin, fail to get laid? A. Erectile Dysfunctioning.

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

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How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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