What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The blonde, brunette and,the red headed girls were at a store. When the blonde says......... im tired let's leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I was going to tell a gay joke. But that would offensive

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

thumb_up thumb_down +1

They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A pretty funny pick-up line that probably doesn't work: "Hey, do you work at Little Caesar's? Because you're hot and I'm ready.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops