Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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A black man walks out of a store. He was carrying a receipt.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

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what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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My black friend love grape soda and koolaid, with his fried chicken, and i dont think its racist cuz i also enjoy the same things at times

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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