When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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What is your name? My name is Jeff

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops