Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

All of these jokes are about white people

Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

sky silverstein

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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