How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red , violets are blue, you like 1d? STFU

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops