A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

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u are so............................................................................................................................................................................................gay

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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