What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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Every 60 seconds In Africa......... A minute passes.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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Whats the leading cause of death Life.

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how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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time to spruce up!

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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