How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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What color do you get when you mix aquamarine with magenta? Transvestite.

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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Anyone can post anything.

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what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

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Why did the Europeans colonise Africa Because they couldn't do it themselves

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Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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Communism hehe xd

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ASIAN- Look me in the eyes Normal human being- open them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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