What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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Evan Ramsey hahaha go CAD

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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A pope meets another one

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Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

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Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops