What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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Women's rights.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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Are you gay. No. Ok.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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