What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

Why the FFUUU did you go back? Because I broke something huur.

Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

How was Charles Manson able to get women to kill for him? Because he was charismatic and intelligent.

There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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