I just threw up..In my pants.

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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Your'e probably not going to laugh at this joke, it wasn't made to be funny

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

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A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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