What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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Q. Whats the diffrence between a squirl and a chipmunk? A. A squirl has a squirl mom and a squirl dad while a chipmunk has a chipmunk mom and a chipmunk dad.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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Whats funny about a blonde, brunette and red-head stranded on an island? Nothing. They are in a very dangerous survival situation, which could prove to be fatal

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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