Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the little girl's pet bunny pass away? Because her neighbor ripped out it's vitals.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops