why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

thumb_up thumb_down -18

ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

this website even though its hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q:What did the Hulk say before the bartender refused to serve him further drinks? A: HULK SMASHED! Moral: "THE MORE DRUNK THE HULK GETS! BLURRIER HIS VISION BECOMES! HULK IS THE BLURRIEST THERE IS!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops