What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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David: Hey Bill. Do you know what the most common place for a Democrat to work is? Bill: No. David: An insane Asylum, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a black person to work is? Bill: No. David: A prison, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a 20th centrury undercover German Jew to work is? Bill: No. David: A morge, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a Scientologist to work is? Bill: No. David: With Democrats. (Writen by Ben, avid Anti-Scienctologist)

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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