3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

thumb_up thumb_down -1

L.A Clippers 2000-2012 season!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

thumb_up thumb_down -1

'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops