Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally murdered six's family

Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

What happens when you give a math problem to a blonde? She works through it to arrive at the answer.

Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

like if your cool

hello anomonous

If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

What's worse than a bad joke? A joke that end's mid sente--

Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

Wats do you get when you combine a vampire and a ginger? Idk, who would pull that disgusting shit

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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