Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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school homewrok

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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