Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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Roses are blue Violets are buckets this poem makes no sense Washing machines

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

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How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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A German challenged an Englishman to a duel But their neigbours found out and alerted the police

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A man walks into a bar, ouch!

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What did little jonny do when he broke his leg? He proceeded to brake into tears due to the excruciating pain caused by his unfortunate injury.

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I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

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Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

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Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

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What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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