knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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Your mama is so black, she contributes regularly to the NAACP and the United Negro College Fund. Her donations and volunteer work help greatly.

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What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

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What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually, 6's fear was totally irrational, and thus unexplainable. This sort of fear is generally referred to as a phobia.

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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Why didn't the Mexican have car insurance? Because he was 12 years old and didn't have a car so he had no need for car insurance.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

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quantum physics?

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

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whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

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What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Why was the 2-year-old girl found dead in the swamp? Her mom was Casey Anthony.

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

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Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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