It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

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"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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your mammas so big that she needs paint rollers to put on lipstick

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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whats fun about the governement's jokes? nothing, they are actually serious

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

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What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

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How did the little boy get lost? He didnt he got dragged into a van and was raped violently.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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