A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

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How many dead kids can you fit into a plastic bag in your trunk? Ask Kasey Anthony

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Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

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What do you call an blank test? an F

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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Roses are reds violets are blue when your parents says your beautiful they're lying to you

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area.

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Why was the man wearing all white? He was a part of the Ku Klux Kan.

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what did the girl get with her blueberry waffles? blue waffles.

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Has u seen my grammar?

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

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What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

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whats green and slimy? green slim

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops