One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Max

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why did the grand mother drop her cane? A: She got pused out a window.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the homeless man say to the man who gave him change? “Mmmm I sure do love pocket lint”

thumb_up thumb_down

DONT think about ELEPHANTS. Your thinking about elephants now.

thumb_up thumb_down

LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The farmer quickly saw the chicken escaping and grabbed it before it caught any dangerous outside diseases, making his entire flock go bad, and therefore making the farmer go bankrupt.

thumb_up thumb_down

A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

thumb_up thumb_down

The blonde, brunette and,the red headed girls were at a store. When the blonde says......... im tired let's leave.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

thumb_up thumb_down

An american, a french and a japanese walk into a bar. They are colleagues from the International University of Florida, used to go out together.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats worse than a pile of dead babies?...... A carrot

thumb_up thumb_down

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down

There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

thumb_up thumb_down

Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down

What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down

how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops