One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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We found a cure for cancer. Death

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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